You Saw It Here First!

We got an email today that reads (sic): "my name is joseph polak i have in my posetion a door 30 in, by 80 in of jesus christ in the wood here are some pictures to show you what i mean. please give me some info on how to sell this door or where i can sell it please." Here are the photos. You be the judge.

Giving Satan Equal Time

Lucky the turtle was the only animal to survive a pet store fire in Indiana. Store owner Bryan Dora says that, as a result, the image of Satan appeared on the turtle's shell, complete with goatee and pointy horns. Amazingly, he's produced a DVD of the turtle's story and plans to auction it -- and Lucky -- online. So far the closest thing on eBay is a "Turtle Towel Personalized Dora Print," perfect for drying off possessed reptiles. At left is a non-artist's rendering of what we imagine Lucky's shell looks like. After the DVD release we'll find out for sure.

Salty Salvation

A mother and daughter in Nebraska are selling a Rold Gold Honey Mustard Pretzel on eBay that they say looks like the Virgin Mary holding baby Jesus. They hope to get $1,000 so the daughter can buy a horse. (Advice: Stop squinting so much. It's a pretzel. One that sort of looks like a treble clef.)